Everyone has a story.

Sharing our life stories, changing the world.

Another year has passed…

My last post on here is a little more than a year old, dated June 29, 2016. It’s incredible how time flies. I’m turning 21 in about a week. It’s actually scary how the days, the months, and then the years come and ago so quickly. At least I’m not feeling that I’ve done nothing in my life up until this point. Though, I do feel that I must do more. I must feel that I must do more. I guess I’m just not sure how to pursue that goal, though. This is what this post is about, really.

I seem to be going with the flow currently, working at my mother’s law office for the summer, looking to complete my undergraduate law degree next year. It seems that everything is falling into place slowly. Yet everything seems to be rather more calm than I would want it to be. But at the same time I like this security and having a clear plan ahead of me. I’m trying to think of ideas, to be inspired somehow, to do something extra, something more. I can feel, and I know, that the future is full of new and exciting things to do. That’s in any case an inevitable consequence of life. It doesn’t require too much ‘pursuing’, if that’s all one wants/needs.

My issue is, to put it simply, that I feel like I must do more, seek out opportunities, live my life, but I’m also content with my current circumstance, and really not sure whether the desire to ‘do more’ has originated from societal ‘pressure’ or is inherent. If the latter, then great. But if the former, that’s actually pretty bad. I’m leaning towards the inherent desire more, thankfully.

I guess, we’ll see.

 

What’s the most important thing in life?

This question is misleading (perhaps even wrong) because it’s not specific enough. The way it’s phrased, it can’t be answered. Why? Because it’s missing a word in between ‘in’ and ‘life’. That space can be filled with ‘my’ or ‘your’ and so on. By altering the question in this way, an answer can at least be given – it’s not a simple answer, but it’s an answer.

The fun part? It’s answered differently by each person. This is why as it stands in the title it can’t in fact be answered. In any case, I think there comes a point in everyone’s life when each of us realises the answer to our question. I guess my follow-up question though is how far can one’s answer change from time to time? Can ‘the most important thing’ shift depending on the season? Then that must mean the superlative was initially the wrong way to describe the ‘important thing’, right? Or does change not affect it – are they mutually exclusive – can they co-exist?

Yet again, the most important thing itself can alter and improve or regress and re-shape itself, right? That can, in fact, change the answer to the question, not because the person who’s answering the question has shifted their perspective on life, but because ‘the most important thing’ itself has caused the person to do so.

A bit much for 09:30, don’t you think?

What’s the most important thing in your life?

TIME

Part I

Isn’t it insane just how fast days come and go? A strange feeling comes over me whenever I remember summer is half-way over. I can’t exactly pinpoint what the feeling consists of. It’s a mixture of good and bad, perhaps leaning more towards the latter. It’ll be time to go back to London before I know it, and although my university life has been good to me these past 2 years generally, I can’t but feel like I don’t want to go back. It’s so bizarre though, because at the same time I do want to go back! Is this midsummer sadness/madness happening here?

Part II

My 21st birthday is tomorrow. I can’t believe it – 21?! I feel like 15 to 21 has been a hazy road race. Although I feel 15 at heart, I know I’ve learned, grown, matured, and definitely changed. I’m not that girl anymore. We’re similar, but fundamentally – thankfully – different at the same time.

The change that has recently taken place has taken a toll on me – it has changed my perspective on time, and my views on and expectations of the future. If you’re asking how, in what way, well, the only answer I can give is: I’m confused. I need some time.

15/07/17

I’ve always known writing is therapeutic, and I guess that’s why I felt the need to start this blog. I always come back on here to express some more thoughts almost every time I’m facing something which brings me down. It’s actually amazing how much it helps to write – it’s like a magic potion.

I’m struggling a bit at the moment (clearly, haha), but I hope this will end soon. I think it’s in my hands how long the wound will take to heal. I definitely want this to be over as soon as possible, but at the same time I’m a bit scared to let go. It’s crazy how the mind and the heart are so bad at communicating. Logic and feelings are completely irreconcilable – for the moment at least.

Could facing up to the situation with a clear mind and logical thought teach the heart that whatever it feels it must stop because it’s all going to be okay, perhaps even better than just okay in a little bit? For the moment, this almost seems impossible. But I know, deep down, that after all, there’s nothing else left to do or say, but do this. Sometimes life plays its own games, and it just doesn’t turn out the way we had expected or wished. But this is life, and there’s nothing we can do – or is there?

Endings / Beginnings

They say endings are also beginnings. That’s a very positive and courageous way to look at it, indeed. In fact, we should all see it like this. Yet, often the transition is not instantaneous – we need time in between the ending and the beginning, a gap. I guess the difficulty lies in the uncertainty of that ‘gap’. Or rather, in the uncertainty of endings and beginnings themselves, because one can’t just pinpoint exact times as to when the ending ended and the beginning began. That’s the part that needs bravery. Because that’s what’s going to get you through the weak moments and keep you going, reminding you that a beginning is around the corner (which corner specifically though perhaps not so clear).

It’s either moving forward facing the future or getting stuck in the past. But what if the past is/was better than the future? Well, are you asking that while being in the future? Because that must mean you’ve done well for yourself having escaped the gap. And if you’re in the past, or in limbo, how could you know the future? So many questions, so few, unsatisfactory answers.

 

Forgetting

Perhaps a little too early in the morning at the time I’m publishing this post, and also a different sort of season, for this poem, but inspiration can come at any point in time, right?

 

— Forgetting —

My hand on the paper is soft,

the tip of my pen gliding,

this is how memory fades,

feeling by feeling, thought by thought, person by person.

 

Memories are not set in stone, but ever changing,

and as the snow now falls and melts,

so do memories they come but soon go,

and this is the story of time.

 

Don’t be afraid of loss,

don’t be afraid of time.

5 WAYS HOW TO NOT FEEL USELESS DURING THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS

Do you also get that feeling, when it’s summer time, and you basically have nothing to worry about except making sure you thoroughly enjoy yourself, do you also get frustrated at your unproductivity and start feeling bad about yourself? Well, if you experience similar thoughts and feelings, then this post is for you. I personally definitely get wound up in my own crazy mind from time to time, so I developed a positive attitude towards these thoughts and feelings, to better deal with them. I came up with these 5 ways how to not feel useless doing the summer holidays (but still enjoy yourself). I must admit, I don’t actually follow through with all 5, but perhaps, you can get inspired to try at least 1.

 

1: Morning Routine

Devise a morning routine – preferably one you’ll stick by – such as, starting your day off with a quick look at the news. You can also incorporate some exercise into that morning routine, or anything else you know makes you feel productive, such as practising on a musical instrument or a foreign language for a specified period of time. You’ll see that this will make you feel much better about yourself, and will, ultimately, improve the rest of your day. Make sure you only include things you enjoy doing, or else you won’t go through with them. And it’s also summer time, so you got to give yourself a break from all those things you despise doing (okay, this is more of an excuse, but oh well, haha). In any case, just create a morning routine that’s both productive and enjoyable.

2: Part-Time Job

A classic. I know it may quite possibly sound like the worst chore you could ever have to do when all your friends are hanging out by the beach taking in the sun, but you’ll thank yourself later on, and once you get into it, you may find it particularly enjoyable and rewarding, both money-wise, and mentally – and don’t forget the skills you’ll cultivate and have to show for it! You may also meet people that are very likely to positively impact your life – added bonus. Have I persuaded you yet (haha)?

3: Cultural Events

This is one of my favourites. I know that where I live, there are a lot of cultural events taking place currently, due to the city being a European Capital of Culture. It definitely depends on where you live as to whether such events are happening, but I’m sure there must be some things going on, at least, such as open-air cinema, or museum open days. I feel like when I attend such events, I’m not only enjoying myself, but I’m also learning something along the way. It’s truly amazing how much knowledge one can gain just by attending such happenings.

4: Documentaries/Educational Movies

If you find yourself bored out of your mind, why not watch something that could teach you something? And I’m not saying make-up tutorials on  YouTube or a marathon of Game of Thrones don’t teach you anything, but… The whole concept of documentaries appears boring at first, but trust the producers (haha), they probably know how to make something utterly dull into something bomb – come on, we all know the thrill of ants trying to collect their food before rain takes over. You can also choose to watch these documentaries on topics you already like, so it won’t seem like schooling during summer. So, think: what are you interested in?

5: Books

If you didn’t like reading books when you were young, chances are you’re not reading books now that you’ve grown up. Make the effort this summer, and you’ll see that now that you’re older, you may actually like getting your mind off other things. Reading is healing.

 

Do let me know of any other ideas you may have on how someone can become more productive during summer, and make sure to tell me if you follow through with any of the above and how it went. Only you know what makes you feel productive, so tailor these to your tastes, and it’ll prove beneficial – I promise. Good luck!