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Sharing our life stories, changing the world.

Not taking yourself too seriously

Someone told me this a couple of weeks ago, in the sense that “if I took myself less seriously, and if I took the overall situation less seriously, I would have done better, it would have felt better”. I didn’t think of it much at the time, but it grew on me as time went by. I agree with it. I couldn’t agree with it more, actually. Even those bits of myself which are more cynical, harder to persuade, even those are making an effort. After all, what harm could it do, believing in this? It can only ease the pain and the anxiety some situations cause.

When you don’t take yourself so seriously, and you just do what you have to do, not thinking of your situation too much, not overthinking it, not becoming consumed by it, then it can only be easier for you, right? All those things we often worry about, they just never happen! Or at least most don’t. It’s just us, worrying, pointlessly, often.

It’s easy to say, probably harder to do. When you’re doing something you care about, you want to take yourself seriously, you want to do the best that you can, you want to push yourself. And sometimes it just doesn’t work out, and you have to fail to learn. And it hurts.

In any case, I think it comes with practice, with time. Maybe that’ll be my main new year’s resolution from now on. It feels like I need this “chill pill”. No matter what the reasoning behind an attitude, if it works, it works. And I think this one will work wonders. Don’t take yourself too seriously – enjoy the ride.

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Happy New Year 2019!: Old friends, inspiration & motivation, and the plan for 2019?

2019 has been cordially welcomed. “New year, new me”? I feel a bit too old for this, although it sounds quite appealing. Once you reach a certain age, how much can you actually change? And importantly, do you want to change? By this time you should have reached a ‘satisfactory level of self’ based on your subjective beliefs and values. In any case, this is not the point of this post. I’ve said this before – for me, the start of a new year is really the start of an academic year – September. It feels ‘too soon’ for a year change now – it’s only been 4 months since the beginning of the (academic) year! Anyway, I don’t mean to ruin the spirit. A new start is always a welcome start. It’s the time of year you can reconsider certain things, and decide to stay on track or follow a different path. As a side-note, I think this is actually one of the hardest things to do, and it requires a lot of careful thinking.

Old friends rekindle relationships

A day before New Year’s Eve, I found a couple of old friends at a live music event, and I was not prepared for the goodness our meeting would precipitate in. When I initially saw them, I was debating inside of me whether I wanted to talk to them. In the end, I did sit with them for a bit, and I could not be more thankful for having done that now. Interim piece of advice: Talk to people from your past – they can become people of your present – even if you don’t want to for whatever petty reason, just do it – it’s a ‘hi’, it’s a ‘how are you?’, it’s a ‘what are you up to these days?’, it’s human, and it does wonders.

And this is what it did for me – it did wonders. I spoke to them at the beginning of the night, and at the end of the night they stayed behind just to have a wholesome conversation with me, about the past, about our shared past, and about the time we ‘spent apart’ as well. The reason I was debating talking to them at first was because with one of them I hadn’t spoken for a year, maybe more, I don’t even know! I wasn’t sure of where we stood after all this time. And I guess I didn’t want to risk my ego, as well. My fault in this is that I assumed. I assumed what this person thought of me, what he felt about me… I consider this to be a grave mistake, because the truth of the matter is that I wouldn’t know. And, actually, whatever I thought I knew, was wrong. My emotions and insecurities led to my having a distorted picture of reality. If conversations are not open and honest, people walk off with assumptions and thoughts which may be wrong, and which may impact them greatly.  

I couldn’t be happier. Our old relationship rekindled in one night, with a ‘hello’ and a ‘how are you doing’. That was all that was needed. Remember: When you think you’ve lost someone or something, think again. Is that really the case, or is your mind, your insecurities, playing tricks on you?

Inspiration & Motivation

The above gave me a huge push into the new year, and the positivity that resulted from the encounter was the best Christmas/New Year’s gift I could have asked for for this year. I will soon be going into the second term of my studies, and so I need all the inspiration and motivation I can get to push through. At the moment it feels like I’ve got it – let’s hope I can keep it up through next term. It’s the first time in 4 years I’m back in Cyprus for the holidays and feel that I can’t wait to be back in London. This is a frustrating, but, I guess, helpful, feeling, because it won’t hurt when I’m on the airplane back at the end of this week.   

The Plan for 2019    

What’s the plan for 2019 then? Any new year’s resolutions? Everyone keeps asking this. I think the older I get, the fewer new year’s resolutions I make. I haven’t made any this year. Though I don’t mean to suggest I’m perfect and there’s nothing I want to improve on, I prefer a different route to a new year’s resolution – a more casual promise maybe. I guess for the moment it’s my Master’s degree and I.

But there’s no magic without looking forward to something, without a new year’s resolution, some say. So, let me push some resolutions down your throat for the sake of this post: work more and harder; travel more, explore more; be more focused, pay attention; think, solve; discuss, don’t criticise, help; remember; learn; decide for yourself, and face the consequences of your actions with dignity and strength; be strong, be courageous, be brave; get out of your comfort zone, be confident; close doors, and open new ones; meet new people, create new friendships, foster old ones; set goals, achieve them; be inspirational… You may amend as you wish.

Anyway, there goes my New Year’s post. Remember to keep a positive mind for a positive life, and until next time, blessings for 2019!

Is hope the most destructive emotion?

Let’s consider this question for a bit.

For some, hope is the only thing they have – they can only hope for a better tomorrow. For others, it’s their strength – being able to draw power from this emotion, this thought, to push forward. Others yet, cling onto hope without considering anything else – one could say they ‘live on a blind hope’.

All people have at a point in time, rather, many points in time, experienced the feeling of hope. It’s really hard to describe it – one’s experience of hope often differs from another’s, and if both were made to describe ‘hope’, surely they’d come up with different examples and explanations. This is not my quest here – I’m not trying to pinpoint ‘hope’. I’m just trying to understand how far ‘hope’ can be negative, or can result in negative consequences rather. I think that ‘hope’ isn’t explored as much as it should as an emotion/thought/etc. I think it’s just left to ‘exist’. Consequently, it’s probably the least contested emotion/thought.

However you define hope, just feel it or think it for a second. Let’s experiment. Now that you have this hope, now that you’ve channelled it, what if it materialised? How would you react? Would you actually react the way you think you’d react? What would happen next? Do you actually want this thing, this hope, to materialise? Can it, in fact, materialise – is it actually possible for it to materialise? And then again, the line between the possible and the impossible is probably rather thin. Everything seems so circular, doesn’t it?

I really don’t know where I want to end with this. I think I just dug a hole for myself. Anyway, I just think I need a bit more time investing ‘hope’. It’s an exploration-worthy subject, though I think the best knowledge will come from experience on this. My interim bottom-line is that each ‘hope’ should be considered on its own terms. And when you have a ‘hope’ about something, you should really assess this hope, as fully as possible. I think many times people are afraid to assess their hopes. Sometimes hopes are so pink and fluffy and feel-good, that even the slightest doubt could destroy their positive value, and we’re just not willing to consider the slightest hurdle to our ‘hope’. Why destroy a good thing, right? But what if we’re destroying a good thing so that a better thing can come along later? And what if it’s just not a good thing after all?

I think hope can be very illusive and illusionary. Be wary. Destruction and perfection are close relatives.

 

The Calm Before The Storm?

Dear Diary,

It almost feels like this nowadays, like a diary, which I open up only on select occasions, to write a few thoughts. This ‘Diary’ probably holds less than 1% of all of my thoughts, for they are so many, and they come and they go, new ones pop in, as old ones fade away. It’s been maybe 3 weeks now that I’ve been thinking of writing up a blog post on here, to update my virtual diary on my life, and my self really. It felt like I hadn’t written anything in ages, when I saw that it’s only been since March. Well, today seems like a good day to write anyway.

For a large part of this summer, I felt that my life was plain sailing, in fact, extraordinary sailing, not just plain. The sea was as calm as ever, the sun shining bright, not a single cloud above me, with a light, beautiful breeze. When everything’s going great, greater than you ever thought, you can’t but wonder, “is this the calm before the storm?”. I think that that’s how we were brought up, to understand that life isn’t actually plain sailing, but there’s good and bad days, and all that jazz. Sure, life isn’t easy, and neither is it fair, and it’s better for some than for others, but maybe we’re holding on so tightly to that “the calm before the storm” thought, that we don’t enjoy the happy moments as much, fearing tomorrow! One could say that that’s good, that’s how it’s supposed to be, so that one is always prepared to face the bad day when it comes along. But I say that’s bad, and I hope a few would agree with me, I say that we need to let go of those ‘life quotes’ for a bit, and just live. Some of them will turn out to be right, but isn’t it better to make our own life quotes? Why do we have to live by other people’s quotes? We don’t live their lives. We don’t know their lives. We’re not them. We get to write our own stories, and therefore our own quotes!

But anyway, I digress. And I’m now going to contradict myself a bit. So, everything was going great as I mentioned above. This summer has been sweet. When… a piece of information flew to my ears, and one could say shook me a bit, and again today, another piece of information revealed itself to me, and my sail found some rough water. Could say the storm is beginning to take form, right? No. I don’t accept this. Neither of the two pieces of information were able to throw me off my sail, turn my sail upside down, or alter the calm environment my sail and I are currently exploring. And maybe that’s still just the calm before the storm? We’ll see. But let’s not. Let’s not see. Let’s not wait for something to happen. Let’s just sail. Maybe it’ll get better! Maybe it always just gets better!

In any case, what I want to come to here is this: I believe that life is as simple as we make it. And yes, there are things that are outside our control. But, we’re also agents, autonomous beings, who can build safety nets, and defence walls, and hold shields… As we grow, we build alliances, and yes, some of the people around us go, but new people walk in, and we become ever stronger, and more able, and cleverer, and happier.

La vie est très belle. And it gets more beautiful every day. So, let’s live its beauty, and fear nothing. Let’s be unbeatable sailors.

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Spirituality

I’ve always been fascinated with spirituality, though I’ve never actually researched it or looked into it for that matter. I think this is partly because I’m not a spiritual person myself and I’ve always felt as though even if I read into it, I wouldn’t be able to do anything with my knowledge anyway. Rather defeatist, I know – and perhaps, the biggest excuse you’ve ever come across. You can’t deny though, that when you’re a spiritual person, you’re more likely to want to know more, whereas when you’re ‘immune’ to it, you just let it be.

Now, there’s a question as to how far a person who’s not spiritual at the moment can become spiritual, either over time, or through efforts of his/her own. Well, I don’t know. All I know is that sometimes I wish I was more spiritual (be careful what you wish for, though), but I have almost never experienced any spiritual effect, which can be quite sad on one view. The only thing worth mentioning is a few déjà-vus I’ve had, which though fascinating, unfortunately there isn’t much more I can say of them. I have a few friends who are spiritual, but still nothing too significant.

I just came on here to ask whether anyone knows anything about spirituality they’d like to share in the comments, and whether they have any ‘tips’ as to how to become more spiritual overall (and whether it’s a good thing)?

When I first got into the Law of Attraction (LoA), I thought that as I became more in tune with myself and nature, spirituality would follow, but this has not been the case. It almost seems as though the LoA pushed it further away! Anyway, any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated, or any articles/posts you think are relevant, please share!
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The Law of Attraction

As promised, a blog post on the Law of Attraction (LoA). When I initially wrote about this in my last post, I decided I’d wait for some time, a specified time period, before I wrote this post, so that I could practise the LoA some more (considering I do think I’m still a ‘nooby’ in this area), and hopefully collect some empirical evidence to show for it in the meantime. The specified time period I set for myself hasn’t ended yet, but it’s a principle of the LoA that if you push it, it won’t happen, so I decided to write this post at this time anyway, and perhaps at some point in the future, when I write about this topic again, having gained some more experience, I’ll see how my perceptions have changed – where I was (where I am now), and how far I’ve come.

The LoA has many aspects to it, many principles which form it. There are ‘core’ topics, and more advanced ones as well. Even if I tried to go through all the ‘core’ ones, I think I wouldn’t be as comprehensive as I would’ve liked, and so I’ll only talk briefly of the ones which formed my experience up until now, and with further posts, explore the topic more and more, hopefully reaching a satisfactory level of completeness at some point in a future time.

I’d like to start with the principle which most excites me, and this is synchronicity. I’ve read that this is one of the commonest ways the universe uses to ‘speak’ to you, or at least show you that you’re on the right path. Synchronicity is experienced differently by each of us, so it can’t be that if you don’t see 11:11 each time you check your phone for the time, the LoA isn’t working for you. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen this number (or number 7 for that matter, another supposedly common-occurrence number) for the time I’ve been practising the LoA. I think synchronicity can be as simple as arriving at the bus stop at a time which is most convenient for you to take the bus, without rush, but also without waiting time. I know this may sound just as a coincidence, particularly to the LoA-sceptics, and indeed, I can’t say that I’m a LoA go-hard believer either! I’ve only been practising this for a very short time! I guess it’s just, seeing these things happening as you go through your day, and they add up, trust me. It almost feels as though the universe is working in your favour. Don’t get me wrong though, there are bad days too! You can have a day where everything just goes wrong, but I think the important lesson here, another of the core principles, perhaps falling slightly into the more advanced topics, is to make sure that you use these bad days to your advantage, to try to turn them around, and see how the entire day changes if you keep pushing against the bad things that are happening!

In any case, the reason synchronicity is my favourite part of the LoA should be clear – it’s more concrete (as concrete as it can be, haha), than just manifesting, and meditating, and believing. To be honest, meditating is not my thing at all. But yet again, maybe that’s because I haven’t spent any time at all practising it! How are you supposed to learn without practice? I’ve been quite lazy at this part of the LoA, and it’s something I’ll try to engage in soon enough. Manifesting is something that I’ve only just began trying to do, and to be honest, I won’t be able to say that it works until I see some material results. It’s easy to point to success with positive thinking and good deeds, but with manifesting, that’s a whole different story. Nonetheless, I’m open, and I don’t doubt its potential. This is important.

Never doubt. Doubting creates a wall, a barrier to what you want. It messes with the process. This is one of the hardest things to do, to be completely honest with you. It’s hard not to doubt. Even if you say, as I just did, I don’t doubt, I believe, you have to master your subconscious mind to make sure you actually do that. Consciously, you may, but subconsciously? That’s the most important part. Again, I would class the subconscious mind an advanced topic, and therefore one of the hardest areas of the LoA. One could argue that the LoA is the subconscious mind, though I do believe that the conscious mind is the first step, and only through mastering the conscious mind can one master the subconscious. I also think that the subconscious mind is one of the things which require time for someone to actually see the results of their efforts. It’s a slow process. Not only is it slow, but the daily life and the conscious mind often result in a lot of back and forth for the subconscious mind. You may think you have it all figured out, that you’re positive, and manifesting, and the universe is all on your side, and then the next morning you wake up with a message that throws you completely off! Getting back on track clearly becomes easier with practice, but practice needs time, and this is my reasoning for the subconscious mind complete.

Anyway, I realise that this post is getting long. I’ll be back with an update soon. Or as soon as I need to, at least. I need to have something more to say, after all. I don’t aim to convince you about the LoA (I don’t think I could even if I tried to be honest). I think that for the LoA to have even the slightest chance of working for you, you have to seek it out for yourself, and really throw yourself into its practice, allowing yourself to experience what it can give you, all with the premise that you also put in the work. Until next time, give it a try! Watching YouTube videos (my motivation for everything nowadays) really helped me get on track – now, here’s a concrete tip!

Your feedback always makes me happy!

Although I haven’t written for a while now, and it’s quite often nowadays that I take long breaks from this blog, it’s still here, for everyone on the internet to visit, at any time. A friend of mine came across it some time ago, and commended me on my writing at the time. He praised my writing in person yesterday once more, and this is probably what sparked my interest to come back on here today. His kind words undoubtedly made me very happy, not because I expect praise on my writing style or ideas, but rather because whenever someone mentions my blog, it establishes a closer connection between us. I think one of the most intimate experiences one can have is read the writings of another. Our writings don’t only reflect our thoughts at the time of writing, but also our feelings, and even our overall experiences, and sense of self. What our writings reflect is a post all on its own.

I don’t think I realise how public this platform actually is. Through the years, I’ve had a few people talk to me about my blog, mostly people who are close to me, and although I know that what I write is out there to be read by everyone and anyone, I don’t think I completely understand this very fact – or rather, I don’t think I always remember it. I often confront my readers, saying it’s a personal blog, that I’m not writing for publicity or for anyone to read. Naturally, this is contradictory. As I’m publishing my writings on this platform, the last thing I should expect is for no one to ever read them. The only justification I can give for this seemingly contradictory position in my head is that writing publicly as I do allows for my thoughts and feelings to be disseminated through the universe more efficiently. This may sound quite absurd to some. Some can even argue that even if I wrote my thoughts on a piece of paper and hid it underneath my bed, they’d still exist in the universe. I don’t disagree, but it does also feel to be a more in sync with the universe process to publish my posts, rather than keep them for myself. I’ve never actually thought about this issue until I began writing this post, and it does appear somewhat strange that publishing on a website, using technology in this way, typing out rather than physically writing, could bring someone more in touch with the physical universe as we know it. Well, this is what it feels like to me, and I guess that’s good enough.

I began learning and exploring the law of attraction recently, which has influenced my thinking on this issue, clearly. I don’t think many people know about the law of attraction, and I think this topic could make for an explorative and even fascinating post.

Coming soon!

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