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Tag: love

Getting Over It

I promise myself today, August 2nd 2017, that I will get over this break-up as quickly, efficiently, and healthily as possible. I am strong enough to do this. I will let only positive thoughts enter my mind and fill my head, and I will do good in the world. I will live my life, savour every moment, enjoy my summer, and do good. I am good enough, and I deserve the best. Everything happens for a reason, and my future is blessed. Only good days from today onwards for me.

Whatever you may be thinking or feeling right now, know that it’s not definite. Time heals and changes.

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21

Each year my birthday rolls around I reminisce about my previous birthdays. The two which always rank the highest in my thoughts are (not too surprisingly) 16 and 18.

16 On my 16th birthday, I found myself on the Empire State Building in New York, as I was attending an English language summer school in a neighbouring state, Connecticut, in the US. I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. It was freedom. I also remember meeting some acquaintances from back home – which was very strange indeed, considering we found ourselves in that place, at that time, half-way around the world away from home, only to actually see and recognise each other there! After we left, my teachers bought me a piece of cake with a little candle to celebrate. I think that was in Korean Town. This is a thing, right? I hope I remember right!

18 I turned 18 the first day of Tomorrowland 2014, which was also the event’s 10-year anniversary. Again, I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. I believe those were the 3 happiest days of my life. Even writing about it seems like a lie – it’s such an insane experience! This is one of the few things anything one says or writes will ultimately be inaccurate and inadequate – one has to live it to know it.

And… 21.

I can’t say I enjoyed last year’s 20th birthday very much. Although I had a birthday party and most of my friends were there, including my then boyfriend, it just wasn’t very fun for me. I even cried on the day because I felt I was growing old at an alarming speed. This year I didn’t really do anything – I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate anyway. Nonetheless, I did have a family gathering. I can safely say this was my best birthday so far. Although I felt some passing sadness due to my failed relationship of two and a half years, I was grateful and truly happy to have all of my family at my home celebrating me. I felt the love, and that was enough to heal all wounds. I realised at that moment how important family is. I can’t say I took it for granted all these years, but I wasn’t very much appreciative of it either. I am so thankful to have a family, and this particular family most importantly. Those are the people you know will always be there no matter what.

Even the friends I chose to hang out with close to and on my birthday were very select, and everything just felt very at home and loving. The most important things in my life are my amazing family and my lovely friends. This is my answer.

TIME

Part I

Isn’t it insane just how fast days come and go? A strange feeling comes over me whenever I remember summer is half-way over. I can’t exactly pinpoint what the feeling consists of. It’s a mixture of good and bad, perhaps leaning more towards the latter. It’ll be time to go back to London before I know it, and although my university life has been good to me these past 2 years generally, I can’t but feel like I don’t want to go back. It’s so bizarre though, because at the same time I do want to go back! Is this midsummer sadness/madness happening here?

Part II

My 21st birthday is tomorrow. I can’t believe it – 21?! I feel like 15 to 21 has been a hazy road race. Although I feel 15 at heart, I know I’ve learned, grown, matured, and definitely changed. I’m not that girl anymore. We’re similar, but fundamentally – thankfully – different at the same time.

The change that has recently taken place has taken a toll on me – it has changed my perspective on time, and my views on and expectations of the future. If you’re asking how, in what way, well, the only answer I can give is: I’m confused. I need some time.

15/07/17

I’ve always known writing is therapeutic, and I guess that’s why I felt the need to start this blog. I always come back on here to express some more thoughts almost every time I’m facing something which brings me down. It’s actually amazing how much it helps to write – it’s like a magic potion.

I’m struggling a bit at the moment (clearly, haha), but I hope this will end soon. I think it’s in my hands how long the wound will take to heal. I definitely want this to be over as soon as possible, but at the same time I’m a bit scared to let go. It’s crazy how the mind and the heart are so bad at communicating. Logic and feelings are completely irreconcilable – for the moment at least.

Could facing up to the situation with a clear mind and logical thought teach the heart that whatever it feels it must stop because it’s all going to be okay, perhaps even better than just okay in a little bit? For the moment, this almost seems impossible. But I know, deep down, that after all, there’s nothing else left to do or say, but do this. Sometimes life plays its own games, and it just doesn’t turn out the way we had expected or wished. But this is life, and there’s nothing we can do – or is there?

TODAY’S POSITIVE THOUGHT

If this picture isn’t the cutest, and at the same time most meaningful thing ever, then I don’t know what is. I hope that I’ve taught you enough (through my posts), and you’ve lived enough (haha), to understand what it shows. It definitely has multiple interpretations, and if you can spot at least 2 then that’s great. But for this post, I’ll grapple with just one – the first that came into my mind when I saw the picture online.

Positivity may be something you haven’t experienced in a while, or indeed, it may be the idea you live by. I want to believe that we all know that it’s there, inside us, even though to some very deep down, and long-hidden. But it’s there. And if you are in the former category, I will promise that once you start exploring inside you, you’ll find it. It’s there, somewhere! The next step is transmitting it to others – out to the world. And then others will do the same, and oh look, the world is positive once again! It’s a wonderful feeling to see the world with positive eyes. Try it! 😉

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Dear my Lovelies,

This is for all my loyal followers, for all those who’ve been reading my posts all this time and for all those who’ve been checking back on this site every once in a while for the past two years. Thank you. It’s not time to say goodbye forever, but it is time to finally realize and accept that I’ve kind of grown out of blogging. If you’ve been here since the beginning, or close to there anyway, you should have realized by now that the blog has changed character at least once, and that I have changed too – through it. It’s been about a year now that I’ve been on and off, and I haven’t written in a while now.

Writing – it’s wonderful. I don’t think I’m ever going to fall out of love with writing. Yet, it feels bad, I’m telling you, it feels really bad to know that I have this blog and I’m not using it. I want to write. I love writing my thoughts on here. It’s just that most of the time nowadays it never seems like I have the time for it. And even if I do, blogging isn’t the first thing to come to mind. I mean, yes, definitely it’s always lingering on my mind that I have to write something, that it’s been so long since that last time… Yet, other things get in the way and I just never seem to get on with it.

Grown up and ever more mature, I can safely say that I’m pretty much done with this. The blog has been wonderful, and you have been wonderful too. But things end. Quickly. And I’m ready for this next chapter in my life – university life. I won’t take the blog down. After all, this is my living proof. I’ll keep it up because who knows? One day I might just wake up and be like: “Oh my God… I have to write something! I need to write something!” Or, I don’t know, people might want to refer back to a couple things that they found interesting on here once…

For now, I’d like to say a big thank you, and a little goodbye. I just feel like it won’t be for long – that’s why it’s little (haha). Enjoy Christmas and have a wonderful New Year’s. 2015 sounds quite authoritative and important, no? So, think well. And long. What’s your resolution going to be? You only have one chance every year. So, make it count. Until next time, Xenia. Stay happy, and if you’re not currently happy, be happy.

PARISIAN LOVE

Paris was as wonderful as always. I didn’t actually know when en route, but it was the last day of Fashion Week when we arrived. You can imagine. Glamour, style, beautiful people everywhere… It’s so strange, yet so natural, to see all those fashion-industry people gliding around Champs-Elysees, Avenue Montaigne and Faubourg Saint-Honore with their beautiful clothes and $50,000 bags. It feels so different, so refreshing. It feels like home, for some weird reason (haha).

In any case, it still amazes me – this Parisian energy. It’s not the same, when you come back from a summer holiday in Greece, it’s not the same energy and motivation. Paris is some sort of magic, and I’ll never stop believing that. It’s because it’s so much different from everything else that you almost forget your real reality. When in Paris, time stops, and it’s just you and everything beautiful. That’s how it feels.

If you ask me whether I like shopping or not, I’d probably say I don’t, but when in Paris, oh, how I love it. It’s not your typical kind of shopping. It’s the perfect kind of shopping. Everything that you see in the magazines? It’s there. Everything that you dreamed wearing one day? It’s right there in front of your eyes – and in front of your hands. 😉 Except it’s expensive. Really. Expensive. But just looking at it is enough, I guess. Paris is not just shopping though… It’s eating, too! And it’s another type of eating that, too.

Paris is a gift with a wrapping of fashion, a card of elegance and a scent of happiness. Till next time, I’ll miss you, second home. ❤